up from the mat…

“For now we see through a glass darkly… but then face to face; now I know in part… but then shall I know even as also I am known.” I Corinthians 13:12

Enlightenment, clarity of spiritual awareness, it seems to me is about FOCUS.   When the eye of a camera is narrowly zeroed in on a close object, the qualities of that object are quite clearly viewed.  However, the fuller picture is obscured.  Similarly, when the eye of the camera opens so that more light is brought in from the object, it is seen more clearly than when viewed in darkness.  The verse in I Corinthians reflects these observations.  If you are unsure of the reality of our spiritual situation, is your vision being obscurred by lack of clear focus… or by your inability or lack of desire to seek (bring light to) that awareness… or by misunderstanding what  your spirit should be seen as?  Could our focus simply be placed on some other concept… or object… or task… or time in the past or future, instead of on the simple transitions we each personally need to make in order to be aware of the present we are created to experience fully?  Do we struggle to just understand what it is that we seek or do we strive to more clearly understand ourselves? Oh my, would someone, please, just give me some answers to these mysteries of life?!

Certainly!  There are lots of folks around who have some answers they want us to believe about spirit. We used to hear these invitations to join their religious communities almost daily on the radio and tv: ‘We love you and want you to follow a righteous path like ours.’  ’We love you and know you really share our values…so visit us this Sunday.’ ’Our religion is over 2000 years old and stands the test of time!’  All of this was a congenial, if somewhat forward, invitation to ‘a better way of life for you and your family.’

Unfortunately, it seems these invitations have become less congenial and, frankly, much more arrogant.  Commercial religious ads are rarer now.   But strident messages from fundamentalist religious organizations and the political groups they fund now are even more ubiquitous.  They saturate broadcast radio talkshow programming and televised political news stories.  It is no longer an advertising appeal to the seeking individual, but an ongoing opinionated assertion of communal superiority and separation.  And the messages they now offer: ’The script for living a righteous life was written over 2000 years ago and nothing has changed.  You should believe as we do!’  ’The holy scripture may have been compiled 20 centuries ago in several obscure languages, but we are here to interpret it for you, so follow in our way.’ ’This country was founded on our religious beliefs, but now our religion is being assaulted by the secular government’s laws.’ ’Join us to save America, before it is too late.’  Of course, their very narrow interpretation of scripture we are to follow is beyond rigid in its view and is also parsed to fit their political perspectives…not expansive to ease your personal spiritual growth.  It is out ofScripture does indeed assure that you SHALL see clearly…you shall come face to face with the truth of your spiritual life when ‘I know even as I am known.’  But what does that last phrase in the verse mean?  God certainly knows exactly who you are… you are created in love!  Your task then is to widen your vision… let more light in… to see the fuller picture of yourself, to look clearly at the evidence of what you truly are.  Reclaim the awareness that you are the Grace of God.  It is that simple to be in full focus!

Live what you would come to know and share your spiritual warmth, your love, with everyone without exception…’so that all may be One.’   Chaz e.g.

 This January and February, in the Practical Theology group that meets monthly at Pilgrim Congregational Church, the subject was “Miracles: What are They and How Are They Done”.  These  were both very lively potluck supper conversations with sixteen folks sharing their ideas about miracles, about The Bible’s miracle verses (hey, there are so many more than I could have ever remembered!), and about just exactly what a miracle is and how it could happen.  There were terrific insights, lots of laughter as usual too, and no one seemed hesitant to offer their ideas.  And, also as usual, there were abundant delicious dishes brought to share…more  than even we could possible eat in one sitting.  At the close of each of session, Dr John asks us what we would like to consider at the next monthly gettogether.  So we will take up the topic of “Practical Prayer” on Thursday, March 8th at 7pm in the parlor.   Please Join Us!

Just now I would like to share a personal rememberance of a miracle I offered at our February potluck.  I have mentioned before in this blog that I was born a twin.  My identical brother was named Frederick Alexander and I was Charles William,  We were a full month premature.  He was first into this life…I did not make it for another 45 minutes.  I was not expected, you see.  They discovered me tucked up near my mother’s rib cage, and it was a lot of effort to get me turned and out from there.  Damage was done, and I was a very sick preemie, well under 4 pounds. 

In the mid 1940′s incubators were causing blindness, so I was not placed in one.  I also had developed infections in my skull from the damage during birthing.  They way I heard it told, I was a pretty pathetic little thing and not expected to thrive, while Fred was filling out rapidly.  But, I had a secret weapon….Granny.  Once I was released from the hospital, Granny would pop me into the oven to keep me warm during the morning.  This sounds like a fairytale, doesn’t it?!  My Great Aunt KiKi was working for an osteopathic clinic, and her boss would stop by the house on his way in and way home to check how I was doing.  Miraculous?  I’m not so sure.  It is just the loving care and determination of Granny that assured I would make it, I am convinced.

As we grew together Fred and I loved being twins (well…..almost always).  We had the usual twin things going…our own patois…the psychic connection across distance…the ‘love it/hate it’ feeling about being mistaken for each other, even by Mom and Dad as well as the rest of the family.  The best thing about being twinned was that there was always someone there with you to play with, fight with, laugh with, and plot with all through the growing up years.  There was also someone with you all the time whom you knew in a very different way than even Mom and Dad did.  I was, at minimum, very lucky to have been born into that relationship!

When we were out of college and creating our separate lives, Fred married, and we lived on opposite sides of the city, both busy following our individual muses and putting down roots.   Unfortunately, he contracted a vicious cancer, now very treatable, but at the time usually deadly.  He and his wife struggled with it for about three years.  But eventually he was admitted for his final hospitalization at University Hospital.  I spent many evenings there with him. 

Neither of us had attended church after high school.  And to tell the truth, we did not think about it, nor talk about it at all.  It had just been a thing of our growing up years and now we were grown out of it.  But during that last stay, we talked a lot about individual members of the family, about the pecadillos and the strengths of family members, and on occassion  we talked about those members who had died in our past.  Aunt KiKi was mentioned often, as she had become a regular sitter for us as preteens and teens when Mom had gone to work as well as Dad.

I began to ask in my ‘meditations’, while Fred was asleep near me in the hospital, that KiKi’s spirit be with him while he went through this process of living the last of this life. 

And eventually, that life would come to its end at 29 years.  On his last day Mom, Dad, his wife Becky and I were there with him…he was coming in and out of sleep, and we were told that he was not in any pain, that he was not sedated.  I asked him if he would like a shave, since his chin was scratchy and he looked uncomfortable.  He nodded yes, and so I got the things together and made him more comfortable.  During the shave he whispered to me, loud enough that others in the room knew he was saying something.  I told them I thought he said, ”KiKi is here”.  Then he fixed his clouding eyes on mine and said to me, “Jesus is here”; and then ”Be good to everyone.” He nodded off for more sleep as I finished and dried his cheeks and chin. 

Within an hour or so his breathing became more labored; even adjusting how his head lay against the pillows helped only little.  He did not wake when I would try to make him more comfortable.   Soon his breathing was very raspy, and we knew the time had come.  I adjusted his head on the pillow once more.  And no other breath came.

I looked up around the ceiling and knew he was there.  Somewhere.   Chaz e.g. 

Quite a dynamic team they are!  Sure, the tv sitcom was a smash success for most of the first decade of this century…I really do miss it’s hilarious situations and its poinant moments about the relationships between all the characters.  Remember the silliness of Karen, or Jack, or Rosario?  And, though Will and Grace led very different personal lives, they were certainly united by the ’Best Friend Forever’ spirit. 

But, here I am co-opting that title and those characters to write instead about our free will and the gift, that I capitalize throughout this blog site and refer to as our truest nature, of being the Grace of God. 

You and I, each and all of us, share these attributes, free will and Grace of God.   And they are profound descriptions of spirit living a human existence.  We hear the two terms often, but usually just accept them into the context in which they are used without seeking a deeper understanding of the possible meanings.  For example, if you asked ten folks what the word grace meant, you would likely get ten different answers or maybe even more.   Giving comes quickly to mind, and also beauty, fluidity, appropriateness, manners, tactfulness, respect, and blessing.   

I have another perspective that would include all of the above definitions and more.  For me, Grace means union…’one with’.  And so I capitalize it for this singularity.  It cannot then be confused with the many different meanings we have for the word grace.  Grace…capital G…is living in union with all of creation.  It is pure eternal spirit.  It has not a bit of duality…of ‘otherness’ in any form.  It  is absolute, encompassing the totality of all creation…including the Creator.  And so, it is our truest nature.  We are the Grace of God…every one of us is united by this singularity.  God is not just so close to us that God knows everything we think about and do.  We are in God!  Enlightenment begins here; there is no separation!  “I AM …and so you are… the undieing creative energy of the universe…”  You, and I, are one with the great I AM.  And our spirit, unlike our human life, is therefore eternal.

Will cannot be separated from Grace.  It is the humanness of living as Grace of God.  We learn and grow into the fullness of our lives as they unfold.  We make choices.  We make mistakes.  We have successes …usually after a few of those mistakes.  And so we can come to live consciously, joyfully, understanding the spirit side of our true nature as Grace of God.  It is a choice…a matter of free will…to understand the sacredness of all of creation, of all humans sharing life with us, of all the glorious living things that share this universe with us, of the miraculous objects created for us to live among and to use for the benefit of ourselves and others.  These are the relationships that we have been graced to share and nurture by the Creator.  And we have free will to explore, discover, and celebrate our oneness…this union with each other, with the totality of creation, and with the Creator.

There is not now, never has been, nor ever will be separation between us or any facet of creation.  There is only this Grace of God. 

Because we have free will, we can choose to live totally in this awareness.  This is living God-consciousness, which lifts us from the imagined personal separation and fear of human self-consciousness. Why would anyone choose to live life in separation…without this blessing, this beauty, this extravagantly creative energy, this eternal gift…this Love?!

Share it fully, enthusiastically…Willfully! 

“I AM…and so you are…the undieing creative energy of the universe,  As you move in Love you return unto me.  Fear, inevitably, destroys your willingness to Love.  Have I not told you in all your religious traditions ‘Fear Not?’”  Chaz e.g.

As Jacob wrestled with God, so have all lesbian, gay, bi and transgendered people who have come to know the Gift they have been given…

I have wrestled with God several times in my life.  As a young and sexually expressive teen, of course, I knew that my sexuality was different from what appeared to be the commonality of the men in my life.  But, I was undisturbed about my ’homosexual orientation’.  I learned that it was not something I had a choice in…that it was natural and part of my Grace.  In fact I became, and still am, so pleased with this gift that I would have chosen it for myself if such a thing could have been possible!  It was only after my teen years that I also came to realize most Christians wanted to force me into a match with their idea of God.  A lot of them still do…though God, who thrives within me, has never wanted to bring me to the mat over our shared sexuality or over the sexual rules of those more ornery type Christians. 

Alive within me is God’s Grace and peace.  That makes me wonder whether those ornery Christians are even listening to God within themselves.  Or are they doing something that they are being told by the preachers to do toward me and those like me?  If they actually feel they are hearing it from God then I certainly don’t want to interrupt, since I have faith God IS wrestling with them until they actually learn to listen.  If they are just doing what the preacher says they should, then I am more than happy to wrestle with him or her.  Fact is, God within me wants to take on that preacher too…

I had an identical twin, Fred, as I was growing up.  His sexuality orientation was heterosexual.  We had no quarrels over that difference.  It was just natural to him…as mine was to me.  There is an awareness between twins.  It is a shared consciousness that transcends the concept of individuality.  It is a nonseparation of identities to a certain extent… or perhaps an inclusion of identities.  Sure, there were other differences between us besides sexual identity.  Just like identity, these are matters relating only to human condition and experience.  Shared consciousness extends beyond typical human experiences.  It is an understanding of union…unity encompassing all human conditions and the shared Being in the Grace of God.  I wrestled long enough with the concept of God within me to have learned that this union, Being in Grace, is the template of all spiritual awareness.  And that it is universal…not just a gift for for those in multiple births, nor limited only for Christians, whether ornery or exhuberantly welcoming!

The other day, while surfing to research High Rennaisance religious themed paintings, I found this expression of loving embrace, a union between two men.  It charmed me, expecially because it was linked to a blog called “Queering the Church”, which is on a quest to restore sexual realities to Roman Catholicism.  If you enjoy well written blogs, I highly recommend  this one!  The author uses many beautiful illustrations, ancient and contemporary, to illustrate his thoughts on the history of religious administration and the interpretive changes to religious scripture.   I then came across this very same illustration in an AOL archive on ’men embracing men art’, where it was juxtaposed with this equally beautiful contemporary photo, that I am sure would be considered shocking by preachers of those ornery Christians:  

The sacredness of every  union between lovers of the same sex is certainly not news!  It has been a subject of art and philosophy for thousands of years.  Of course, I found many similarly striking paintings and photographs that afternoon that illustrate the same beautiful, loving union between two persons…whether celebrated saints like Sergio and Bacchus or Felicitas and Perpetua, historical loving leaders like David and Jonathan and Ruth and Naomi, or the young men and women today seeking shared consciousness with same-sex partners.  The sacredness of the Grace shared and celebrated in every physically expressed relationship is strikingly the same!  It makes the exclusion from society, the expulsion from church service and membership, and the punishment, torture, and death meted to men who have loved men and women who have loved women over the centuries all the more profane and horrifying. 

As long as the ornery faith leaders and their followers in any religious denomination, continue this profane persecution of the shared Grace of God, they will remain locked in struggle against God, their own better angel.   If God is within you too…dear soul…it is time to live that truth Out.  And Loud.  Chaz e.g.